You've heard of the Rosetta Stone -- the ancient tablets that provided translation for some ancient texts. Now, I bring you the Nail Police Stone -- the key to one of our parallel universes. Here's the key: Those named Neuroth in the current universe are named Shaffer in the parallel universe. This should be sufficient info to allow code crackers everywhere insight into the parallel universe.
How did I make this profound discovery? In a recent temp position, the team leader turned out to be what appears to be an identical twin to one of my friends. I inquired of my friend whether he had ever had any intuition that he may have a long-lost twin brother he didn't know about. He didn't have any such intuition, but he said, "maybe in a parallel universe". So, there you have it. My friend has an identical twin brother in the parallel universe. Since we know both of their last names, we can now unlock the secrets of the parallel universe. Let's see -- N=S, E=H, etc. And we thought we would have to do massive astrophysical calculations Steven Hawking-style to unlock the secrets. Wow. You never know.
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How do you explain the parallel universe twin being here in this universe?
He said the Starship Enterprise, patrolling some far-away corner of our galaxy, suffered a leak in their warp drive mechanism and it caused a breach in the space-time continuum. He figured he would make the best of it and study how those in this universe produce biopharmaceuticals. I thought it best to exploit this serendipitous moment and try to crack the code to unlock the parallel universe. I R smart.
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